Catholic Soup is a food for thought blog based website designed to provide Catholic insight through personal experience.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Pecos, New Mexico 2012: Mercy Undeserving
Before the trip, I knew I had to make it to confession just so that I would be in the right state of mind when I went. So I went, and nothing really changed for me. Deep down inside I wanted to feel like I was forgiven, but honestly, I felt like I was just the same as when I walked in the confessional. I doubted God's mercy, and his forgiveness. Throughout the trip I tried to work when it was time to work, eat when it was time to eat, and pray when it was time to pray. In reality, it is a very hard thing to do, just to keep a balance of life is hard and I fail at it every single day. The first night we had confessions again, and I felt the need to go and just re-examine myself one more time before I went. So I did, and for the second time, I doubted again the mercy that God grants us, I doubted his presence and his forgiveness. But just like the last time, I was putting it inside of my head that I was forgiven and still somehow didn't feel like it. The next night we had the exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, I prayed, everybody prayed, and I remember feeling so immersed, so focused on the Eucharist that no matter how hard I tried, I could not look away, I was so attracted and so relieved that at that instant, I felt the inner presence and mercy that God had given me. It was like a strike of a match, that was all there, It just needed that initiative to spark the flame. When the retreat was over, we got our rocks and through Divine Providence, I got the word 'Mercy' written on mine.. I think my devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary helped me understand and see that, without her intercession I don't think I would have been revealed the true Mercy that God offers for us. It helped me realize that no matter how useless you feel, no matter how unworthy you feel, God still finds a way to forgive us, no matter how much we done against him, no matter how many times we have turned our backs on him he still finds a way to call us back and pour that undeserving mercy into our hearts.
Labels: Blessed Virgin Mary, Christ, Confession, Forgiveness, God, Mercy, Mission, New Mexico, Reflection, Service
My name is Br. Vincent Mary Carrasco, my friends call me Vinny. I graduated with a Bachelors in Theology and currently in my first year of temporary vows in formation with the Capuchin Franciscan province of Mid-America studying at St. John Vianney Seminary. I enjoy blogging and bringing out the greater message and bigger picture in life. I have always had a passion for helping those people who have no one to help them. One of my favorite things is seeing someone joyful and happy because of the work or joy that we bring. In my experiences, I give catholic insight, prayers, reflections and thinking that help me grow in my own faith. I hope you enjoy it.