The Dry Riverbed: Conversion

When we stayed at the Monastery in Pecos, one of the brothers had mentioned there was a beautiful grotto out on the north side of the mountain. All we had to do was walk there. Driven to find this grotto, my brother Felix and I set out on foot. We crossed the river by bridge, started our ascent up the mountain heading north. I remember being so energized and so confident. I thought for sure we would find the Blessed Mother. We walked through brush, big rocks, cactus, under trees and trudging our way through the forest ground we kept moving forward. As the sound of the running river grew distant, we still kept moving until we couldn't hear it anymore. It wasn't long before we ended up on a dry river bed still moving north. We followed on what was once a river for about an hour. we climbed over boulders, walked through sand and gravel. As we kept moving forward, I kept thinking about how this exact voyage was depicting my own spiritual life. 

 

Here I was hot, thirsty and out of breath [sinful] seeking the living water [God, Blessed Mother].

We walk further and further seeking happiness or consolation. By sin, we are in a dry river bed that is never-ending. There is no life, no plants, no color, no fish everything seems dull without the living water and that is what we seek. I remember looking back as I climbed up the riverbed, trying to imagine what it might have looked like with running water. We didn't find what we we're looking for, but we kept moving. Soon the confidence that we had in finding the grotto, turned into doubt so we turned back around. I think often we start out with confidence and then many times the goal isn't reached because of doubt. Doubt in yourself, doubt in God's presence and we turn around and give up. 

The reflection was amazing because three years ago I visited and had the same experience but in the running water. The joy is that we recognize that we should return and go back to the water that is flowing. Conversion from dry land to flowing water. The water that gives life and gives color.