I Am Third

After Student mass I felt the need to pray in the presence of Jesus. I was kneeling before the tabernacle, humbled, in fear, and just worried. I remember the only thing I was worried about was myself. I kept asking for my own spiritual guidance, my own renewal, just my own things, beings selfish. When I thought I had asked for everything I needed I got up, knelt before the tabernacle and walked my selfish butt over to my friend, who had just walked in the church. He seemed troubled, like something was bothering him. So I asked him if he was alright, he shook his head no and looked at the ground. He told me his grandpa had been put in the hospital and might not make it. At that instant, I realized that my first priority should be worrying about other people and not myself. I realized I shouldn't be first, because God is. I shouldn't be second, because other people are. I am Third.

Alternative Spring Break

Spring Break these days is all party if your my age. Most of my friends head over to Padre Island, Florida beaches, Galveston Bay and have a good time. This year I decided to take a trip with the school to New Orleans for an alternative Spring Break trip. I thought it would interesting to return to the City where my calling and vocation was first initiated to me in 2006 when I visited to help rebuild the city after Katrina. So I was anxious and eager to start working and satisfy the desire that I've always had to serve people who truly need help. However during the trip, I didn't feel the same about my service, something seemed to be missing. We worked only two days out of the week and I was disappointed in myself, in the group, just the outcome of our work. In my reflection I started to see something greater. I started seeing that service isn't just about working and breaking a sweat. It isn't about standing on a 30 foot ladder tearing down an entire plastered ceiling. It's about just being there for the people, for the kids, and for the city.
Our main objective while we were there was just being present to the kids and showing them that there is other places that care, and show respect to them. Where we stayed was a rough rural area in New Orleans where the homes of these kids are mostly influenced by drugs and the business of drugs, and just violence. So we were there to show them that the home they live in, is not how the world is outside of home. I took me a long time to realize that just being present to the kids means more to them then anything in the world. They might be young but they do have feelings. It was sad when we left, all they kept asking us is if they would see us the next day and help them with their homework. When you told them no, we weren't gonna be back, they would just get this sadness in their heads and lower their shoulders. It was sad to see, but since they were kids they would soon forget and run around again, just like if they knew that they wanted to make the time with you last.

The American Dream

Today I met up with a friend of mine while I was walking to dinner, we crossed tracks and walked together towards the cafe. As always, I asked him how he was doing and how is day was going and, as always, he said "Yeah, I'm good" in his deep Japanese accent. Shinya, whose a communications major here at the school had the overwhelming task of memorizing the entire "I have a dream" speech given by Martin Luther King Jr. on Aug 28, 1963. As we were walking, I soon realized it was the longest walk to the cafeteria I had ever taken, but as we were walking I told him to show me what he's got. So I grabbed his paper, and waited for him to start the speech that he would soon say in front of the entire school. He muffled his voice, and began...

 ...

He began with strength in his voice, and his chin up high. He had the same stagger and monotone Dr. King had the day he gave his speech. Turned out Shinya had studied Dr. King's voice and speech so well, that he nailed every pause, every exaggeration and emotion that it had me amazed.

Shinya Continued in his slow Japanese accent...

       "And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”

....

"I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!"

...

As I was following along with the paper in my hand, I began to think of an amazing reflection and revelation in my head. It was like Shinya was ambassador for all people of this nation who have been abandoned, starved to death, mistaken, lost with no where to go, hungry, cold and homeless and in need of shelter. I listened, and just pictured all these people in my head crying out the exact same thing "I have a dream" the dream to be free, to be healthy, the dream of an American dream.

From Catholic Soup...

I would like to share my posts from my previous blog called Catholic Soup. I have about 20 posts that are posted on it, so I thought I would share the ones I like with you:

From Catholic Soup:

An Act of Love

Knowing that Jesus Christ sacrificed himself only for me to gain eternal life is one of those things that really gets to my heart. He suffered what he suffered only for us to gain a better relationship with him. He endured all that he could endure only for us. He was nailed to the cross by us, and still had the courage to die for us. That my friends, is Love.

Imagine that your just a bystander, you hear all of this commotion out in the street people shouting and harassing a man that you don't know, but you have seen him before. You go over to the crowds trying to see over the shoulders from the person in front of you. You have no idea what is going on, all you know is that right now people really hate this man. As you and the crowds follow this man up the mountain, you feel what seems to be this man's heart beating inside of you. The only thing you can do is watch as this man suffers and falls not once, not twice, but three times. Sweat forms around your neck, making you feel more useless by the minute because now, the sound of cold hard nails are breaking the wood and penetrating the skin. This heartbeat that you feel is even stronger and feels that its keeping you alive making you fall on your knees because suddenly you know that this is an Act of Love. Not choice or what somebody planned.


Christ wants us to be like him, live for him. He wants us to experience all that we have so that we can experience him. We can never know God completely, but for him to die for us means that he most certainly wants us to be one with him. Loving as Christ did is what we are called to do, to love everyone we meet unconditionally just as he did. Christ is with us where ever we go, we may not be able to heal the blind and cure the sick, but we can do it spiritually. The phrase dying not only means what it is, but also a chance to rise and raise a whole other Act. An Act of Love

Verso L'alto (Toward the top)

In the bible, there are stories of Jesus climbing to the top of mountains with his disciples so they can pray. Usually, it took them most of the day to climb up to the top, and then back down again after they had prayed. In Lawton, OK are some of the oldest range of mountains in the whole United States. The mountains have a similar region to those in Jerusalem, because of this, there is a nearby replica of the holy land, called the "Holy City" which is man made city depicting Jerusalem. So, yesterday I had the chance to climb up these mountains to experience a little bit of what it was like for Jesus and his disciples at the time. These mountains have huge rock faces that we had to climb up and over, sometimes under caves, or through brush, even jumping from one rock to another with a 30-50 foot drop beneath you. We were on our hands and knees pulling ourselves up, jumping from one rock to the next, even up and over rock walls. As my friends and I were climbing, the air started to get thinner, and by the time we knew it we were sucking wind and out of breathe. The only thing that kept us moving was because one, the adventure and excitement, and two, well, as Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati once said, "The higher we go, the better we shall hear the voice of Christ." So as I was climbing I tried to imagine Jesus in front of me leading me to the top. I tried to picture him climbing these huge rock faces, using all-fours and then turning around to help up his disciples if they had lost their footing. The whole time we were climbing, we had to use tactful skills of balance, hand-eye coordination, strength, and then jump. When we got to the top, I remember looking out for miles and seeing nothing but the region of rocks, nearby waters, and even more mountains! It was breathtaking, and exciting to see and realize once again that God created this. The thought of being on top of a mountain, made me feel the presence of God there with us. It was amazing. The three of us sat there on top of the mountain looking out, we prayed a rosary there in honor of God and all that he had done for us. For Blessed Pier Giorgio for being our inspiration and finally the Virgin Mary for being our great model of love, compassion and obedience.

For the Family

I went home the first weekend in February for a wedding. My cousin, the one person that's been a part of my life ever since me and my brother were young. We were always with each other as kids, visited each others houses, slept over all the time, we were always in the back yard messing around trying to make up some kind of game. Anytime we couldn't go over an visit, yeah, like all the others kids we were upset. It was a great childhood, we have some good memories that we can't ever forget. After High School, my cousin decided to join the Military, it was pretty rough for me and my brother, we really didn't know what to think, say. We didn't know where he would end up, how he would come out, for better or for worse. So it was all just a big mystery for pretty much the whole family. Some years later after being stationed in Germany and then being sent out to Afghanistan, he told me he was getting married. I was happy for him, except at the same time I became disappointed and selfish. It was a gift from God as I saw it, and it helped me learn and listen that a lot of times the situation isn't about me. I think so many times we wonder from any situation, "what will I get out of this?" or sometimes "What about me?" and I found myself asking myself these questions in a selfish mood. I prayed that I grow selfless and be happy for the decision he had made.
Before then, the family hadn't really been getting along very well, everybody was off in their own little world it was just different as a family. During Christmas the family wasn't around, or Thanksgiving everybody was at their own houses the community that we had before we just missing, and it didn't feel like family at all. During the wedding, It was an awkward vibe between members of the family, almost like if we didn't know each other anymore. In my reflection, I think it was the best thing that could happen, it was great for the family to get back together at least for one thing, a wedding, which ironically creates a family by uniting two people into one flesh. As the night went on, there was less tension and everybody seemed to have a great time on the dance floor. It was a great wedding, one that I think was for the sake of the family.

For the Silent Cries of the Unborn

It's been 6 years since I was first introduced into the Prolife movement, each year the facts have a profound impact on me more and more they change. I've worked for Respect Life Ministries in Amarillo for a few years, participating in their annual Marches, banquet and events to raise awareness to building a new culture of life. My advocacy began to develop as I grew older, speaking to Senators in Texas, like Rick Perry, about the Dignity of all human life, even spoke on radio stations. It's easy to get caught up in what we have done, I realized that there is never enough in serving to protect the life's of the innocent babies.

This year was my second year being apart of the National March for Life in Washington, D.C. and it's always cool to see so many people of so many different cultures gather to fight against the same cause. The reality and awakening of it all, is that today in our society there are people who don't even know this is happening, it is known as being safe, and easy when it is roughly not. It's our job to educate.
Together in learning different facts, hearing different speakers talk, attending mass, having fellowship, and finally marching on Capital Hill, I have learned that we should do everything we can to help end this crime that nobody sees. Raise awareness and give people the facts of what is really happening inside the womb of a mother. Not only here in our own country but also on the international level as well. In China, we all know they have the One Child Policy, with males being the favored gender,some families are forced to abort the baby girls during pregnancy, abort them after they are born, or abandon them. This is Gendercide and its happening now.
Every year has impact on my life and it calls me to be an even better advocate then I have ever been before, and to be the voice for those who have no voice.

A Shepherd's Love

Some years ago, while I was about 16 my father had his own little ranch back behind our home. It was a pretty big piece of land, one that grew lush green in the spring. When it rained, the water all gathered up at the bottom of the valley. My father had sheep in his land and every morning he found one who was victim of the wolves who visited the night before. This happened a number of times, finally my dad came to us as a family at the dinner table and asked me an my brother to join him in sleeping in the barn to scare away any predators. That evening me an my brother packed up sleeping bags, pillows and blankets for our little adventure we would be having. I remember the night being so calm you could hear the wolves howl in the distance. The sky was so clear that the stars could be seen for miles. That night we slept on the roof of the barn inside a huge cardboard box so we could shoot the wolves from the top. As the night went on, the storm clouds grew closer an closer, it started to rain, an thunder shook the ground. As the sky lite up from the lightning, crashing and popping only got louder and louder. After a few minutes, our cardboard shelter was ruined and we were forced to climb down inside. By the time we got inside the barn we were all soaked. All I remember is falling asleep from being so tired that night. Using the sound of a thousand drops of water every second to make me fall asleep. When I woke up to the rain hitting my face, I remember seeing this huge black figure with arms stretched out looking down on me an my brother, with a blanket in hands to block the rain. Protecting us, an doing everything possible to keep us dry. It was my father. He had sacrificed his whole night sleep to protect us. Ironically, it was his sheep that he was sacrificing, but his sheep he was protecting. Just like my father sacrificed himself for us, so does Christ right? Of course, God sacrificed his only son so that we could have eternal life and I think that alone is amazing for us to understand. It was out of love that he did that, out of compassion and its great to know God was thinking of us at that time.

I think its only fair that I share the ending of this story even though how inspiring it is.
The "Wolf" we were looking for turned out to be our family dog that killed the sheep
And...
The rain never stopped, it got harder and louder. We ended up running home in the pouring rain, laughing.

Just Another Start

Christmas and New Years went by pretty fast, It's great to start another year off in the state of living. The older I get it is like the more I become thankful each and everyday just for the things I have. When your little it is hard to be thankful for some of those things. Once you live in solitude and live in silence it's easy to notice what is hard to notice. Anyways, It's about that time of year to kick off another semester here at St. Greg's along with the new 2012 year. Every semester that digs a little deeper into my life, is starting to take a toll, It's going by so fast that I am starting to think that I don't have time for anything. I get pretty nervous, when I think about where I'm going after I leave this place. You know and it's just another reminder for myself to not look into the future. Just as easy as it is to look in the past, it's the same for the future. So in my own thoughts I am reminded to live in the present, and everyday it's getting harder and harder to live by that. In reality, it's hard to do what God wants you to do in general, I'm trying really hard to focus, focus on my school work, focus on my spirituality, health, and responsibilities. Sounds like a lot on my plate but I think I can do it. For me it's just another start.

Simply Grateful

Today, I found myself really grateful for what I have. I got a call from my dad, saying he was in Oklahoma City on business, so I suggested that we meet up for dinner. When I left to head for the city, It was pouring rain. I couldn't see the road, couldn't even see through my windshield cause of all the mist from the cars ahead of me. I remember thinking about turning around and not taking a risk at killing myself just to see my dad. A lot of times we can take for granite what we have and don't even think about it. When I met him at the restaurant we were meeting, we shook hands, hugged and shared stories. I told him how I was doing and he told me how he was doing. He ended up telling me that earlier he had picked a guy up looking for a ride, he was homeless, unemployed and just placed there by God in providence. It was really fun to catch up with my father, since it had been a really long time since we talked.
Back at the school, there was a candlelight vigil for a St. Greg's student whose father had passed away in a plane crash, He was the OSU Women's basketball coach. To talk to my dad the same day, there is a vigil to remember one that has passed is something to be really grateful for.