Let God Enter, Let Him Love.

A reflection for World Day of Consecrated Religious:

Today, Jesus is presented to the altar of God in the Temple. This comes at one of the weakest times of Jesus' entire life. He’s not able to speak for himself, he can’t walk. He’s a baby, young, physically weak, and completely vulnerable. I think the state that Jesus is in can help us to understand what it really means to be presented to the Lord, to be consecrated to the Lord even in the frailest, weakest, most vulnerable times of our imperfect lives. 

It's clear that God seems to be very particular with who he calls and who he anoints. As you know, there’s a common theme with the Lord calling the weak and the vulnerable. You might say that God has a knack for picking the ones who seem to be less capable. But he chooses them precisely so his Glory can be revealed, making the words of Isaiah ring true -- "He gives power to the faint, abundant strength to the weak." (Isaiah 41:29) He chooses the poor, the broken, the hurting, he chooses the lesser - those who cannot love themselves.

"He gives power to the faint, abundant strength to the weak."   

-Isaiah 41:29

The fact is that we are all imperfect people. We are all weak in some way, vulnerable, hurting and broken. Like many biblical figures, we doubt the person that God can help us become. We are afraid to love God and afraid to love ourselves. We are in fact, afraid of our own tendency to love imperfectly. But there’s hope because as a people of faith, we are called to re-enter into a relationship with God, to be re-consecrated, and re-presented to Him. That means accepting the love of a God who perfectly loves our imperfections. This does not mean that God is okay with our sins, and shortcomings; rather, that He loves us despite of them.

"We are in fact, afraid of our own tendency to love imperfectly."

As I was reflecting on my life as a consecrated religious, I began to think of my journey as lived inside of a large church. At the front of the Church, there is the sanctuary and Jesus awaiting in the tabernacle. Throughout the course of our lives, we position ourselves at different parts and places of this massive church. Some days we might be at the very front, in the sanctuary. We are praying every day, going to mass, doing all the right things and we feel God present in our lives. Other days we might be in the very back of the church, in the very corner, far away - maybe even outside! Sometimes we are hiding on the sides, ashamed and afraid to be seen. We are not concerned with what is happening in front of us. Or, we are in the middle, in the safe-ground. Not too far upfront and not too far in the back. We're comfortable with where we want to be and that's that. We are satisfied with being in the middle ground. "This is my spot, this is where I sit, I'm good, I don't need to do anything else, I am here."...Perhaps this is your life, moving from pew to pew. Regardless, wherever you sit, God is asking of one thing; he's asking for your heart. For your presence. And one thing is certain, we have to approach the altar in order for us to give it freely. Come up and re-present yourself to the Lord with open hearts! Lift up your hearts! Lift up your doors. Just like the psalmist says:

"Lift up! O gates, your lintels; 

reach up, you ancient portals,

that the King of Glory may enter!”

I have found that the greatest freedom in consecrated life comes from opening up the gates of everything that I am and letting God in on it. As the prophet Malachi puts it, there will come a day when the Lord will come and sit in this temple and refine and purify his servants. Jesus would like to purify and refine you. You are that temple, and Jesus wants to transform everything that you don't like about yourself, those imperfections, all the sins, the flaws, the fears, and insecurities - Jesus wants to purify it. For the consecrated religious, we are presented to the Lord in freedom, resting in the sure hope that He will make himself known in the midst of every imperfection and weakness that we know we have. Out of love, we surrender ourselves, we cease any resistance and simply let God love.

"...in order to profess a life consecrated to God, I have to first profess that I am human."

I’m very blessed to be able to look back on the life that I’ve lived as a consecrated religious and see all of the incredible ways that God has been present to me. The people, the places, the ministry opportunities, everything has been an adventure of faith and it would have never happened if I had not given God permission to love what I could not. It has occurred to me that in order to profess a life consecrated to God, I have to first profess that I am human. That means admitting to myself that I don't have all the answers, I don't do everything right, I'm not a perfect human being and because of that, I need God. We need God.

It doesn’t matter who are you, what you’re doing, or what you have done. I can promise you that the Lord today is asking for your heart. He wants to replace all of those imperfections with love. Today we're called to receive God, to be re-consecrated to God, to be re-presented to God. Let Him Enter, the King of Glory.

+ Br Vince Mary

The Mountain Journey of Prayer

The following is from a recent presentation given to a local youth group on Prayer & Friendship with God.

Mt Princeton, Elv. 14,197

It’s evident within the life of the Church that prayer has been around for quite some time now. It’s not a new thing, nor is it perfected in any particular way. Since the beginning, it has involved connection, intimacy and unity with God. Take a look at some of the prayers from Old Testament figures like Moses, who cried out to God on behalf of the people he was leading out of slavery. Or David, who desperately asked God for help in the Psalms. In these prayers, emotion and affectivity is portrayed. Sorrow, intimacy and longing is what many of these figures went through and for them, that was a prayer. Now the Church has many different types and expressions of prayer that can help one grow in grace and relationship with God and every one of them is a great thing! Prayers of Adoration, Contrition, Thanksgiving or Service (ACTS). There’s blessing prayers, petition prayers, intercessory prayers, the list goes on and on…Religious orders have different expressions of prayer that fall under their charisms. Vocal, meditative and contemplative are the most common. What I’m getting at is that prayer is not a walk in the park. It involves work and it involves presence. It doesn’t matter which type or expression fits you best, if its done without any intention or whole-heartedness then we are preventing our prayer from being the fullest expression that it was meant to be. 

So what should happen in prayer? What’s necessary?

I remember one Monday morning one of the brothers came up to me. He was tired, looked exhausted, and as he was looking around for something to eat for breakfast, he turns to me in his thick Ethiopian accent and says, “You know, Monday is like climbing mountain” There’s truth to that, and I think the same can be said about the prayer life. Similar to climbing a mountain, It involves work and sweat. We have baggage, things that should be thrown out along the way. We experience doubts and fears, even temptations to turn around. But in the midst of it all we are being led to a peaceful, serene and breathtaking place where we are able experience the sublime presence of God: the Summit

What I’ve noticed throughout my personal experience of prayer is that it really involves four components. Without these four things, my prayer life is nothing. Think of climbing that Monday-mountain.

Window Rock, AZ

Longing

Our prayer life should involve a type of longing. We should desire a unity with God with all our hearts. We should long to see God face to face on this mountain journey (Deut 5:4). The psalms use the word ‘longing’ as something necessary or vital for us, like a thirst that needs to be quenched; the deer that longs for running water in Psalm 42. By longing to experience God we also make it clear that we want to experience what will give our souls true fulfillment and completion. This is only found in God and the longing for that encounter is the start of every prayer. If we aren’t longing for God in prayer, it can be very easy to dismiss ourselves. At that point prayer becomes a ritual where we get in, do what’s necessary and get out. We go through the motions, say what needs to be said and leave. It’s true that God can also work through that, but part of longing for God in prayer is also recognizing that God longs to be with us.

Ascent

Br Joe and I hiking through Kenosa Pass, Co in the Fall of 2017

By ascent, I mean a movement of the heart and mind. There’s an emotional investment involved and it’s more than words. In fact, St. Therese of Lisieux writes that for her, prayer is a “surge of the heart”. The Catechism says that prayer should be a “rising of one’s mind and heart to God” (2559). Even our very own Capuchin Constitutions describes prayer as the “breathing of love stirred into life by the Holy Spirit through whom the inner man begins to listen to the voice of God speaking to his heart.” (Capuchin Constitutions 45.1) Our prayer life needs to be an ascent toward Christ. This part of the mountain journey involves time and perseverance through pain, struggle, weakness and doubt. In order for us to make that ascent in prayer, it requires constant care, effort, faithfulness, dedication and strength. Remember, you’re climbing a mountain! it’s not going to be easy. It involves the work that St. Paul describes as praying unceasingly (1 Thes 5:16). During this ascent, we begin to realize our flaws, our imperfections, distractions become apparent, we struggle, and because of our fears and doubts we are tempted to turn around and head back. We want to check out of prayer completely. The crisis is that in the suffering and pain that we experience, God appears not in anyway present to us, we lose sight of his love, his faithfulness and we stop praying. The solution is perseverance, constant use of the sacraments, patience in prayer, time in prayer and again, remembering our longing to experience God. This leads to the third.

Br. Alex and I at the Gore Range Overlook just outside
of Estes Park, Co

Honesty

It’s important to pray with honesty. Be honest with God in your prayer and be honest with yourself. Take a look at your fears, the things that bring you shame or doubt and present that to God in your prayer. Take it to Jesus. Take it to the Cross. Honesty in prayer is about recognizing your own brokenness, admitting to it and allowing God the time to transform it. The beauty is that God knows everything that is on our hearts, He knows us through and through. But just like a father’s love, He gives us the opportunity to come to him on our own. An honest prayer, is being able to own up to our imperfections with humility. Sometimes that means admitting to ourselves that we need the help of God each and everyday. God wants us to be able to turn to him in our every need. He wants to enter into those voids and heal everything that keeps us from a prayerful relationship with him. At this point in the journey, it would be easy to give in to the voices that remind us of our brokenness. Those voices tell us that because of our imperfections and flaws, we will never be accepted nor can we ever be loved. We become dissatisfied with ourselves and we let that determine our worth. But that’s not true! God is a God of mercy who seeks to transform every one of those imperfections that we see in ourselves. All we need is to be honest, be humble and let God in on those sufferings in prayer. Honesty in prayer is where we find our identity in Christ. That discovery comes by allowing God to shed light on our lives, and admitting to the pain in our lives.

Presence

Presence in prayer is about allow God the chance to reveal himself. It is being completely immersed in the workings of God in the now. I like to compare this part of the journey with the experience of finally reaching the summit of the mountain. In that moment, you feel victorious, confident, a sense of freedom and invigorating peace. God asks us to remain there and completely surrender our distractions. It’s there that we unpack, we encounter, and experience God by simply recognizing God in our stillness (Ps 46:10). God asks that we be present to him in prayer, that we recognize his presence in our lives and whole-heartedly allow him to reveal himself to us. During the transfiguration, after Peter, James and John had experienced the glory and dazzling brightness of God, they were completely moved by the experience that they didn’t want to leave (Lk 9:28-34). In our prayer life, we should have the heart of Peter; totally moved by the presence of God that we desperately want to prepare a tent for Him within our hearts, begging him to spend the night. Recognize God’s presence in your life, and prepare a place for him to remain. God wants to reveal himself to you, he wants to speak to you. By being present in prayer, we are surrendering to the workings of the spirit and the life of grace. This takes patience, endurance, and total trust in God’s divine plan. Essentially, remaining in the presence of God in prayer is about awareness, recognition and seeing. It is recognizing with the heart, that the spirit of God is alive and active in this moment, and in this place.

Basically, what I’ve come to understand about my own prayer life is that it requires a certain type of longing; a longing for peace, maybe answers, a longing to be always united with God. It also involves an ascent of the heart, mind and soul; like incense rising up, it needs to be a movement that perseveres through any doubts or discouragements, it needs persistence. Thirdly, prayer should be about honesty with myself, coming to terms with any imperfections; an element of affective prayer that can help unveil our identity in Christ. Lastly, prayer demands a whole-hearted presence, one that involves surrender and seeks an encounter with God by reflecting on the ways he is present in the now. Try these out next time you're in prayer. 

+Br. Vince Mary

Pitch Your Tent: A guide to Seeking Christ in Every Moment

It's the Second Sunday of Lent and coming up to half way through our journey of faith. We walk with Jesus through the desert for 4o days--fasting, praying and observing.
This Sunday Jesus takes Peter, James and his brother John up a mountain. According to scripture, it's a pretty high one too. It's here that Jesus reveals to his disciples His glory. He is transfigured and his face "shone like the sun" and his clothes becomes a bright white as light. The clouds open and out from the sky we hear the same voice that spoke to his at Jesus' baptism saying, "This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased, Listen to Him." What happens next from Peter is very much a response to Christ's magnificence and glory and I think we can use it as a beautiful lesson to keep in mind as we continue through our Lenten journey. Peter is captivated by God's revelation and power through the light of Christ transfigured and he intends on sticking around, so much that he plans on spending the night. He has recognized God's presence in that very moment, without even thinking his first response is to pitch a tent and stay, totally emerged in the Divine and in awe because of it. So what can we learn from Peter? Basically this, to seek God in every moment of our lives and learn to stay in those moments with your whole heart. Pitch your tent, to live in every grace filled moment that God gives. Here are some ways for us to be open to God's powerful presence in our lives, like Peter.
Be grateful. Being grateful is more than not complaining. It means showing appreciation for things that might not even be recognized. Learning to see the good in everything even the worst of times. The fact is that God reveals himself to us through every living thing, powerfully and specifically with the help of grace. When we are grateful for God's goodness and beauty in the world we are able to more receptive of the deeper ways He communicates himself like in the Eucharist, encounters with people, the Cross. This reception is the cause of a response, to love and carry out his will. Be grateful, appreciate God's presence in your life.
Be Silent. being silent is a difficult thing, but in my mind it can be a way to listen. Paying attention and with great awareness of God alive in every moment. Taking on an interior silence that comes from God allows us to respond  to His graces and also to the needs of our friends, family, maybe those strangers. The beauty is that the silence is more than just not talking, it can be stripping ourselves of any noise that keep us from responding to God's love and invitation to serve.
Be Prayer full. learn the ways that help you pray and use that to be open to the presence of God. Prayer is simply having a conversation, there is no rubric and no guideline to pray. God is a Father who loves and listens to everyone. The church uses different expressions of prayer that have been handed down through tradition. The Holy Mass is a prayer of Thanksgiving, the Liturgy of the hours is a prayer of communion. The beauty too is that every moment of our lives can be a prayer, our walk, our talk, and our breath. Learn to be prayerful through the day, the great saints tell us that prayer is like a cleansing for the soul.

With these three guides we can respond to those moments of grace in prayer, in love, in silence and with grateful hearts. It's here in our response that we are able to see God clearly, his transforming light and his perfect plan for us. God through our action of love and prayer, will make his glory known as believers we are called to seek out these moments, listen to these moments that Christ makes himself known and pitch our own tents. Lord, let your glory be made known to us!

Advent: Being Prepared for God

This time of the year there are so many things that demand our readiness and preparation. Like Thanksgiving or black Friday and family visits. It’s the holiday season and so much of it requires that we are ready for everything that’s about to happen. The turkey has to be prepared, the famous green-bean casserole in the oven, pies out to cool and the table set. It’s the time of the year that we’re all on our toes, preparing, getting ready for a time away from our busy lives with the people we love. Not only is it a time of preparing for the seasons in our homes, but it’s also a time of preparing in the Church beginning with the season of Advent. 

In Advent, a word translated to mean ‘arrival’ or ‘coming’ from the Greek word Parousia, we are entering a waiting room, a room that prepares our hearts and our souls for the coming of a King. The King comes to us in three beautiful ways. One, in the liturgy of the Word when we open the scripture. Two, in our hearts when we experience the living God in our lives and have personal encounters with him and lastly, the King comes to us in the Incarnation when we remember Jesus’ birth in the Nativity at Christmas AND at Mass during the celebration of the Eucharist where we re-visit that moment of the Word becoming Flesh and experience the Incarnate God who humbled himself for our sake becoming fully present Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity in the Holy Eucharist. We can experience Christ in the Word, in our Hearts and in the Eucharist and all He asks is that we be ready.

During this season of Advent, the gospel tells us to always “be prepared” and to “be alert” comparing the second coming of God a thief in the night so we should “be ready” and “Stay awake”. Just a few days ago, I felt the invitation to participate in the PARA (Prepared, Alert, Ready & Alive) of the spiritual life. I was walking on a popular street in Santa Barbara. Walking aimlessly for I don’t know how long, looking up and around, window shopping and caught up in just the motion of walking. It wasn’t until a homeless man recognized me, grabbed my shoulder and as I turned he open his arms and embraced me with a hug. It was then that I realized where I had been. I was up in the clouds not really paying attention to the people I was walking past.

What that man did was bring me back down to earth where the real connection and relation happens and he helped remind myself that I always need to be prepared to encounter God in each moment and through each person of my life. It was a lesson of PARA for me and It parallels with our own seasons this time of the year. That we should be prepared to meet God in our own prayers or encounters the same way we go to dinner prepared to eat. And we should be ready to greet God when he comes this Christmas the same way we greet our family and friends when they visit. So in this Advent season, I ask God to give all of us the grace to be prepared, alert, ready, and alive to experience God in every moment of our lives. Amen.

Thank You

Man...I don't even know where to start. The long, long anticipated date of being invested with the Capuchin habit finally found it's way around. ­­After two years of formation with the friars, I can say that there were times I felt like this day would never come. Spiritually, there were days that went up and down, over and over again. With resident candidacy and postulancy in the picture to help with my discernment process, I felt deep in my heart that I was ready to approach the novitiate year with a certain steadiness and completeness enough to where I can be stable in prayer and go to God with the surety that I would come out with an answer. I said I was ready to experience the year and experience the voice of God in the silence of my own prayer. As the investiture ceremony got closer, I tried to prepare myself...

Investiture

I asked God in my prayer to allow me to remember my faults, my weaknesses and everything that I had done wrong and ultimately get it all out, lay it all down so that He could take it all up. As they called my name a realization came to me, that as I was thinking about all this God had brought out the once feeling of shame and sadness and He had replaced it with love and an immeasurable joy in my heart.

That night it was hard for many of us to contain our excitement. We had just been robed with the habit of St. Francis, the garb of the leper, the garb of the lesser and those who had always been left out. This is what Friars wore for the past 600 years since the birth of the Capuchins, and 800 since St. Francis had founded the Order. That thought was circling my mind through and through as I walked around outside looking up at the california sky with millions of stars visible.

 And if you live in the mountains at all or in the country you know that looking up is sort of like looking straight into the eyes of God. And I think with that you get a powerful, tiny glimpse of who God is, and his infinite love for us. Even if it's only for a moment, it leads us to understand God and his divine care and unconditional love for each of us. In that moment, not only had I been invested with the Capuchin Habit but I was invested also with the reminder that since the beginning God had invested me with his love. It's beautiful to think about God investing us with his love so it was an amazing experience to share with my brothers.

Friars from Province of Mid-America, Fr Frank Grinko (Novice Master) and Fr. John Cousins (Vicar-Provincial)

Seventeen guys from the various provinces around the US

The thing is we are all robed with God's love, we are all invested with His love. Despite of our faults and weaknesses, God still places on us his love through the habit of grace.This has been the message for me.

  Lastly I want to thank everybody who has supported me in my discernment thus far. My family, you've been amazing in support and prayer, encouragement to fight and never give up. To my brother Nick, my sisters, mom and dad, Thank you. To all my friends from Lifeteen, WT Catholic Student Center, Pro-Life Bootcamps, DC March for Lifes, Conferences, The Knights of Columbus, everybody I've had the pleasure in knowing at St. Gregory's, the monks, seminarians, priests throughout my days. Capuchin Friars who have guided me on the journey the past 2 years, thank you. To those who have dedicated prayer time to me, time to write me letters and send me cards, thank you from the deepest part of my heart for your support and encouragements, it won't be forgotten. If I missed you, than I'm talking to you.
                                                                                                                                                                             Thank You,

                                         -Br. Vincent 'Vinny' Mary, OFM Cap

St. Conrad of Parzham: the Holy Porter

On the edge of the Rott Valley in Lower Bavarria was a German-Christian family, fourteen strong.  Of the twelve is John Birndorfer, the second youngest of the bunch.  John, now known as Saint Conrad of Parzham, was born on December 22, 1818 and was the first German saint to be canonized after the reformation.  At a young age he experienced his share of trials and sufferings within his family and the Catholic Church. Both his parents suffered from the Napoleonic Wars, his mother died at the age of fourteen and the Church at that time was becoming more and more secularized. Germany was losing its Catholic identity, seventeen Catholic Universities had been shut down and twenty-two dioceses in the country were reduced to just five. 

                Still in the midst of all this chaos, John remembered the strong teachings handed down from his mother. He prayed rosaries, attended confession and received communion as often as possible. Soon there came a point when he was discerning religious life. To his surprise, his confessor told him to visit the Capuchins saying, “That’s where you belong.” Thirty-one years into his life, John taking the name Conrad, went through the same doors that he would be opening for the rest of his life. On October 4, 1852, the feast of Saint Francis, Conrad professed and consecrated his whole life to God and the Capuchin Order, thus entering fully into the Order. Saint Conrad was assigned Porter for the friary. For forty-one years Saint Conrad was faithful to his duty as a Capuchin brother, he remained calm and patient with everyone he received.  He opened not only the door of the friary, but also the door of his heart to everyone he met. Saint Conrad came into contact with so many people that he was able to experience the glory and misery of the world. Often getting up early, sometimes two or three in the morning, he would open the door to children and mothers, the poor and the homeless, the hungry, the sick and even the unemployed. He was opening the door to Christ in his own eyes and because of that he gave his heart with compassion to everyone.

As we celebrate the life of Saint Conrad of Parzham, I think we can gather a few things when it comes to being a doorkeeper of our own hearts in relationship with Christ our Savior. As Conrad was faithful to his work, he opened the door for many; he opened the door for the weak. We hear in the gospels that Christ himself dwells in those people! 

"Truly I tell you, Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." Matt 25:40

The call for us is to open the door of our hearts, to let Christ enter for a dwelling but also, so that He can change and renew us from the inside. The effect of this is that we remain always with the Father and the Father in us.  

The call for us is also to greet the Lord, to give him our attention and undivided hearts. Just like Saint Conrad, always listening and never growing tired of his ministry, when we greet the Lord we are turning our hearts to Him with a desire to listen to what might be said and of course, with a willingness to speak! Let us greet the Lord.

I think that lastly, the final message from the holy porter is to see the Lord. See the Lord in the world despite the violence and chaos. Find glory in the weaknesses of the world.  Saint Conrad found Christ in each and every person he opened the door to. He sought the Lord in Heart, mind and soul by opening the door of his heart. 

Saint Conrad of Parzham, Pray for us

Advent: Greet the King

During advent season, the church dedicates this time for waiting and expecting the arrival of the King, the Savior who is to be born of a Virgin and save the world. Jesus has been expected for 9 months now after the annunciation to Mary from the angel Gabriel. We hear in the narrative that at the birth of Jesus the wisemen visited Jesus and entered into his abode.

"They were overjoyed at seeing the star, and on entering the house they saw the child with Mary his mother. They prostrated themselves and did him homage. They they opened their treasures and offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh." Matt 2:11

When I think about the wise-man (Magi) and their journey to Bethlehem, it reminds me of so much patience that had to have taken place, the persistence to travel afar and greet the King for themselves. What a testament to the faith for these guys to be so immersed in following the Star of David, so diligent in seeing the Savior with their own eyes. In my own life, threatened by the need to be impatient and always in a hurry, I feel like that is a natural part of today's society. To be always in a hurry, most-likely skipping over those things that need the most attention. The reality is that waiting or being patient is not a norm for today's secular world. With constant activity and fast-paced technology, anything that forces us to be still and quiet, or slow and steady is a power threat in our lives.

The lesson is clear this Advent season, we can learn a thing or two and apply it in our daily lives. The first, is that a King is coming and so we should expect his return. Not only is he coming in the form of a man, but through a Virgin who humbled herself to accept the will of the Father. Because of his coming we should not only wait for him to arrive, but greet him with homage and gifts just like the three wise-men did. Two is that a Savior is born to come a set us free from all of our sins, therefore we should turn to him with contrite hearts, knowing and believe that Jesus will relieve us all once again. Three that all of this involves waiting, therefore we should be patient but also expect Jesus with joyful hearts. Wait in line for Christ on his return and he will greet you at the door. I believe that during this advent season, the lesson for us is to not only about learning to wait and be patient for Christ's coming, but also to get up and greet him with everything that we have and everything we are.

This Advent season, not only should we wait for the return and birth of Jesus but we should greet Him with the gift of love.

Rolling Our Stone

Christ is Risen!

Jesus has defeated death!

& the Glory of God is revealed to all people of every nation.

It's interesting, Jesus was put away in a tomb behind a rock that was keeping him from Eternal Glory. We all know the story, the rock is rolled away and Jesus is resurrected into heaven, defeated death by death, rose to restore our broken selves and repay the debt that had been due. I like the symbolism of the rock that there is in the story. It's a heaviness, a burden, some kind of distress or discomfort for us and just as Jesus rolled away the stone, we too are called to roll away our stone and remove that burden that is keeping us from a perfect relationship with Christ. What better example do we have than Christ who defeated death by pushing a rock aside. This means Christ is the victor, the winner and greater then any sin, any stress, depression, anxiety, loneliness, weariness, even doubts and fears! Jesus is greater and the message is clear to me, that He can fill those voids with the same spirit that conquered death.

Christ is Risen!

We are called to roll away the stone that keeps us from Christ, we are called to rise up with Christ just as He rose. To die to ourselves, go to mass, do the sacraments, be holy and be people of faith. The joy this Easters, is of course the resurrection of Christ, but also knowing that this resurrection leads to something great, it points us to heaven, a deeper reality of how we each are called to be and how we each are to live. The risen Christ, sends us a message to love as he loved, to die with him and rise with him to take on a new life.

Advent: Come & Wait

The word Advent derives from the Latin word adventus, meaning coming. Who is coming, the Christ is coming, our Savior is coming. Jesus, born unto the world from the Blessed Virgin comes to save the world and ransom the captive Israel. However, with this coming of Christ in the Christmas season, there is also a waiting, a preparation, and a renewal. Advent is the season of waiting, with faithful hope for the coming of our Lord, but not only a waiting, a coming to too. Advent in many ways can remind us of the holiness and virtue there is in waiting and being patient. Patience, is a virtue that can lead to holiness, because when we are patient, we are still and we are quiet, and when we are quiet we are thinking, or meditating or praying. See more on patience. This advent season, there is an invitation not only to come to Jesus just as he has come to us. But an invitation to wait for his coming with prayerful, faithful hearts each day of the season. Its two different words with the same meaning, on one side we can come to Jesus, prepare ourselves for the journey, (just as the wise man did) praying, fasting, meditating and even emptying ourselves.When we come to Jesus, we are placing ourselves in His presence and therefore, allowing His presence, Love, Grace and Will to be placed within us. On the other side, we can wait for Jesus, prepare ourselves for his coming (Just as Mary did), be patient and faithful in the hope of his coming just as in his Resurrection and welcome him into our hearts. Both are means of welcoming Jesus into our hearts and into our lives. So in the season of Advent, we are invited, not only to wait for Jesus and prepare for his return, but run to him upon his arrival. 

Created with His Image

The world is full of wonders, so many that God himself created. Sometimes we take for granted the world we live in, almost as if we don't even know where living in it. Were so caught up in our day by what we think we have to do, or what we think we need to get done that we don't notice the things God has set in front of us. The world today is to busy to just stop, take a deep breathe, and meditate on what God has created. Even to thank him for loving us enough to create us almost exactly like him. We are all created in God's image and that to me is a privilege. In the world, it's hard to be still, its hard to be quiet on a spiritual level. It's easy to be loud, or always moving because that's what the world requires of us. Constant movement, constant change, it seems like there is hardly enough time to sit and be still, something that causes discomfort. It reminds me of the scripture from Psalms 46:10 " Be Still and Know That I am God." sometimes it just takes all that we have to sit still and thank God for everything we have, but that's okay because God is a loving and merciful God, He looks forward to the prayer that we say to him. God wants everything that we have to offer to him, when we were created, the image he placed within us is the image of his own self! Our souls, are made from the very image and likeness of God, we read this in Genesis 1.Our lives, have goodness, they have meaning because we have the very image of God dwelling within us. We were created to be holy to see everything that God sets in front of us. To see everything that he sees. It's our destiny to be Holy. It's What we were created For. Reminds me of the story of Jesus in the bible when he is speaking to the Pharisees. The Pharisees, in those days were holy people, they were obedient to the law, very meek and humble. The sad part, is that they were on a mission to catch Jesus by confusing him in his teaching. They wanted a reason to arrest him. They asked Jesus for his opinion, "Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not?" Pointing to the coin Jesus says, whose image is this? "Caesar's" they said. Jesus said "So then, give to Caesar what is Caesar's and give to God what is God's" Jesus is teaching on the very image that is placed in us. Just like the coin, bearing the image of Caesar, we are inscripted with the very image of God. The coin belongs to Caesar, and we belong to God. So for us the message would be to give to God the image he placed in us. This means our lives, our hearts and our souls. Everything about us should be placed at the mercy and will of God because we bear his image. We were created to be his, created to be holy and loving as he so we could share in Eternal Glory with Him, our creator.

Knowing your Blessings: 3 ways

There is tendency in life to look back on what we've done in life. No matter how many great quotes we read to let our past be our past, there is always that habit of looking back. I always think of Rhafiki off of the Lion King when he says you can either run from it, or learn from it. At times I think I need a stick to the face to wake me up, and help me see what's ahead and those things that I have and others don't. Sometimes, it can be hard to look at life in a positive way when all we see is what we have done. Aside from that great movie, instead of recognizing our past that we so often do, we should recognize the things that we love so much. Recognize our blessings and the things that make us who we are today. Here are three ways I have come up with to help me see the good in my life and alter the bad.

The first is PRAYER.

Learning to build ourselves up in prayer is not an easy thing to do, I struggle with it and I'm sure many of us do. It's a process and takes habit. The joy is that by our prayers, not only are we conforming ourselves to the heart and will of God, but we are also building a foundation for a relationship with the divine; in mind, body and soul. By our prayer and communication to God, we are able to recognize our blessings in a more complete way. But it doesn't end there, we are also able to see those faults and weaknesses that hurt us, for example our sin, or our vices that were once virtues overpowered by pride. Prayer in essence is our communal relationship with God and it allows us to see what breaks us (sin) and what makes us (blessings). 

The second is the EUCHARIST. 

After our prayer we are in relationship to God, however, as long as we are on earth, that relationship will never be in a complete way. Once we recognize those blessings and weaknesses in our lives, we ought to thank God and give him praise because of them. But why would we thank God for our weakness? The fact is that they help us become better. Just by us recognizing that weakness is a sign and movement toward the good. The word Eucharist, comes from the Greek translation of "thanks-giving" and so if you think about it, in our partaking of the Eucharist, we are professing by word and action our thanks to God, Most High. The Eucharist, in its holiness, is a perfect and most sincere way for us to praise and thank God in all He has done. In our partaking we are made alive, and alert. We are awakened and ready to combat those evils that come for us, this comes from us seeing our weaknesses and what truly hurts us the most. 

The third is LOVE OF SELF

In our prayers and thanksgiving, our "true colors" and true vocation will be made known to us. We will see who we really are, and what we are called to be. Before we sign that divine contract as I like to call it, what should be practiced is a love of self, not so much a pride but who you are upon recognizing yourself. Loving yourself and who you are made to be. If we compare ourselves to other people constantly, then what Joy will that bring us. If we learn to love ourselves and the unique characteristics we each have, we can understand that somehow on a spiritual level, we too can be a blessing for another person. As a consequence of our prayer, we learn to accept who we are and see those things that prevent us from loving ourselves, therefore building our spirits up not down. 

In our prayers and relationship to God we are able to recognize our own strengths and weaknesses. God allows us to see those goods and bads. In our participation of the Mass and the Eucharist we are praising Him and giving Him thanks for all that is preparing us. Then, when we love God in our prayer and in the Eucharist we learn to love who we are and who we are called to be by altering those weaknesses for the good. 

Restoring the City of Man; Jerusalem

In our brokenness, there is always room for healing. In God's eyes we can be forgiven of any fault and fall that we've endured. In our sin, there is restoration by God to a spirit a faithfulness and obedience to him. Just as the restoration of Jerusalem is described in Psalm 147, we too, are restored and brought to new life in him. We might feel so unworthy for the love that Christ offers to us because of who we are and maybe where we've been. We might feel so unclean that there is no room to be washed and cleansed but the joy is that in our sin and suffering, there is healing. Healing of a better heart, a better soul, even a better mind! Because in our unworthiness God restores us and still holds us up even after we sin. In this restoration of Jerusalem, or man, God sustains, He provides, he rebuilds, gathers, strengthens, blesses, proclaims and delights in this City. He does all of this for us. God, in our sin, restores us, he sustains us still, and provides for us the necessary grace to return to his yard.

For me in my unworthiness, it can be hard sometimes to be fully devout because I know that I am unworthy of His love. With that, it doesn't mean that I can't be as faithful and obedient as I can be. It is my unworthiness that should allow me to be faithful, obedient and fully devout to God who restores even in all of this. God made us, he built us, why wouldn't he be able to rebuild us in our sin, and restore our relationship with him?

From Catholic Soup...

I would like to share my posts from my previous blog called Catholic Soup. I have about 20 posts that are posted on it, so I thought I would share the ones I like with you:

From Catholic Soup:

An Act of Love

Knowing that Jesus Christ sacrificed himself only for me to gain eternal life is one of those things that really gets to my heart. He suffered what he suffered only for us to gain a better relationship with him. He endured all that he could endure only for us. He was nailed to the cross by us, and still had the courage to die for us. That my friends, is Love.

Imagine that your just a bystander, you hear all of this commotion out in the street people shouting and harassing a man that you don't know, but you have seen him before. You go over to the crowds trying to see over the shoulders from the person in front of you. You have no idea what is going on, all you know is that right now people really hate this man. As you and the crowds follow this man up the mountain, you feel what seems to be this man's heart beating inside of you. The only thing you can do is watch as this man suffers and falls not once, not twice, but three times. Sweat forms around your neck, making you feel more useless by the minute because now, the sound of cold hard nails are breaking the wood and penetrating the skin. This heartbeat that you feel is even stronger and feels that its keeping you alive making you fall on your knees because suddenly you know that this is an Act of Love. Not choice or what somebody planned.


Christ wants us to be like him, live for him. He wants us to experience all that we have so that we can experience him. We can never know God completely, but for him to die for us means that he most certainly wants us to be one with him. Loving as Christ did is what we are called to do, to love everyone we meet unconditionally just as he did. Christ is with us where ever we go, we may not be able to heal the blind and cure the sick, but we can do it spiritually. The phrase dying not only means what it is, but also a chance to rise and raise a whole other Act. An Act of Love

Working on the Heart

It's always a good feeling when you finish working on a great big project or something that you really take pride in. You have been working on this project for a really long time, giving it some great detail to the point when every last drop of sweat has fallen from you. Everyday you work on this masterpiece and the only thing that keeps you from not giving up on it is the thought of seeing how it looks when your finished. The feeling of completion and that feeling of rising above every voice inside your head to give up and quit is what draws you to keep going, and ultimately finish.

This weekend I went with some friends of mine to work on a natural spring just outside Konawa, Oklahoma. It's a natural spring in the shape of the Sacred Heart. When we got there I bent over and starting praying as I was working. After a few minutes of prayer and movement, I suddenly got a desire to get dirty, and put all I had into this one thing, this one heart, a Sacred Heart. I took my shoes, socks, shirt and shorts off (not to worry, I had shorts on underneath) I continued and instantly became drawn to keep moving, and I didn't want to stop. I began to sweat as I tried desperately to get the crystal clear water to flow better. The water-flow was so dirty and as I used my hands to pull the weeds, and remove the dirt. The water would soon flow and clear out all of the dirt and create a beautiful rich, clear flow. It was amazing how I could actually see the dirt being filtered out through the flow of the water, it was like the old was being replaced with new. Then it became clear to me, there was complete silence, and I seemed to be at peace and not think of anything but focus on the Heart of Christ. I began to think about how Christ works on my heart, and that it is the exact same way as me working on it this great potential natural spring. I did not want to stop moving. My friends would call upon me and I was so zoned in on the love of Christ through the Sacred Heart that I didn't hear them. It was an amazing experience that became obvious to me.

Jesus works on our heart everyday of our lives trying to shape it and help make everything flow better. He makes builds it and helps it take on anything that our heart endures. I think that this was the main reminder of me working on this spring. Jesus, cleanses our heart, takes out everything that is holding up the water from running, like the leaves, the mud, rocks, all of these things are the things that keep us from gaining a healthy spiritual heart that Christ wants from us, He wants our hearts and he wants our love for him to grow. Christ is doing everything he can to help your heart flow, he is removing your sins, and cleansing your soul, building it up and preparing it so that we can open it right back up, and offer it back to the one who made it work. As we speak, he is replacing old with new, removing all that needs to be removed. As we speak, he is working on your heart.

Thanksgiving: Be Thankful

Take a good look at this picture. Some people don't ever have this big of a meal in their lifetime. an we are able to have it every single year, Be thankful. This Thanksgiving I ate less than what I usually do. For some reason, I just didn't feel up to eating. I was more thankful for everything that I have been blessed with. If you have been keeping along with my blog, then you know that I have been blessed big time. I needed to be thankful, and Thanksgiving was a huge reminder that I needed. Also a reminder that thanksgiving is not the only day to give thanks, we should do it everyday of our lives just because we wake up in the morning. Another reminder it brought to me was the reminder of the Eucharist. The foundation of my Catholic faith is the heart of being thankful, it's a reminder to love not only others but everything we have been given in our lives. The Greek word for Eucharist, is Eucharisteo, which means thanksgiving. When we take part in the Eucharist we should be thankful from the moment of the consecration to the moment it lands on our tongues. Not even that, we should be thankful everyday of our lives, because the Eucharist has taught us, and Christ wants us to be thankful by the Eucharist.

Heavy Heart is now Light

Today I went to confession before student mass. I felt like I needed to go, because I felt so heavy, everywhere I went I felt like everything I did was heavy. when I would walk up the stairs to get to class. I felt Heavy and I couldn't make steps. The books I picked up seemed heavy. I became out of breathe, and tired, I felt almost like I was carrying a weight on my shoulders that is unbearable, like I was carrying a cross or something with sins and acts I have committed.
After confession, I felt very relieved, I felt like this path I am walking has been made so much easier and with so much more guidance. For my penance, I was asked to pray for a change of heart, soul and mind. So I can find a deeper calling to God's will for me. I think I should write another song from it:

Change my heart O lord.
let it be lifted

Change my Soul O lord.
let it be renewed

Change my Mind, O lord
let it Glory in You

You Illuminate

The One the thing to remember as we are going through our days is that Jesus Christ is present everywhere. All we have to do is look, and notice what he has set before us. These past few months has been something really special to me, not only because I have been tested so many times but because these trials that come bring joy. Thank God that I have finally noticed whats been going on. Everytime I feel empty, Something tells me I'm full, full of joy, full of happiness, all I have to do is search for it. The fact of the matter is, is that Christ never leaves us, he always shines brighter than any trial we are facing and it's him we should turn to. As I noticed this that seems so far but so close I have come to write a song about it. The moral of the Song comes to those who see everything the way Christ would see them. Here is the song...

From the Moment I wake up
To the moment I go to sleep
Your love surrounds me, it covers me
It's everywhere I go to be

From the moment of sun's first light
To the moment of moonlight's final cry
You are there Within, to help make things right
You are there within, The Apple of Every eye

Stain my skin by loves bright sun,
illuminate on me your heat of newborn love.
So real is your touch,
So Divine is this blush

Chorus
Lord, you Illuminate
Lord, you Illuminate,
I see you everyday,I'm walking your way
Cause you Illuminate,
Nothings left to say but You Illuminate.