Thank You

Man...I don't even know where to start. The long, long anticipated date of being invested with the Capuchin habit finally found it's way around. ­­After two years of formation with the friars, I can say that there were times I felt like this day would never come. Spiritually, there were days that went up and down, over and over again. With resident candidacy and postulancy in the picture to help with my discernment process, I felt deep in my heart that I was ready to approach the novitiate year with a certain steadiness and completeness enough to where I can be stable in prayer and go to God with the surety that I would come out with an answer. I said I was ready to experience the year and experience the voice of God in the silence of my own prayer. As the investiture ceremony got closer, I tried to prepare myself...

Investiture

I asked God in my prayer to allow me to remember my faults, my weaknesses and everything that I had done wrong and ultimately get it all out, lay it all down so that He could take it all up. As they called my name a realization came to me, that as I was thinking about all this God had brought out the once feeling of shame and sadness and He had replaced it with love and an immeasurable joy in my heart.

That night it was hard for many of us to contain our excitement. We had just been robed with the habit of St. Francis, the garb of the leper, the garb of the lesser and those who had always been left out. This is what Friars wore for the past 600 years since the birth of the Capuchins, and 800 since St. Francis had founded the Order. That thought was circling my mind through and through as I walked around outside looking up at the california sky with millions of stars visible.

 And if you live in the mountains at all or in the country you know that looking up is sort of like looking straight into the eyes of God. And I think with that you get a powerful, tiny glimpse of who God is, and his infinite love for us. Even if it's only for a moment, it leads us to understand God and his divine care and unconditional love for each of us. In that moment, not only had I been invested with the Capuchin Habit but I was invested also with the reminder that since the beginning God had invested me with his love. It's beautiful to think about God investing us with his love so it was an amazing experience to share with my brothers.

Friars from Province of Mid-America, Fr Frank Grinko (Novice Master) and Fr. John Cousins (Vicar-Provincial)

Seventeen guys from the various provinces around the US

The thing is we are all robed with God's love, we are all invested with His love. Despite of our faults and weaknesses, God still places on us his love through the habit of grace.This has been the message for me.

  Lastly I want to thank everybody who has supported me in my discernment thus far. My family, you've been amazing in support and prayer, encouragement to fight and never give up. To my brother Nick, my sisters, mom and dad, Thank you. To all my friends from Lifeteen, WT Catholic Student Center, Pro-Life Bootcamps, DC March for Lifes, Conferences, The Knights of Columbus, everybody I've had the pleasure in knowing at St. Gregory's, the monks, seminarians, priests throughout my days. Capuchin Friars who have guided me on the journey the past 2 years, thank you. To those who have dedicated prayer time to me, time to write me letters and send me cards, thank you from the deepest part of my heart for your support and encouragements, it won't be forgotten. If I missed you, than I'm talking to you.
                                                                                                                                                                             Thank You,

                                         -Br. Vincent 'Vinny' Mary, OFM Cap

Dutchover Wedding

It all seemed to happen so fast. I can still remember the first day I meet the two love birds. Dutch and Karen were starting their junior and senior years there at Saint Gregory's. Dutch was starting his Senior year and Karen her junior year. It was really fun to get to know these two for the little time that we had together there at school. I learned a lot of things from the both of them, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who learned to find another meaning of love just through the love that they shared for each other. This love that I wrote about before, was finally sealed, confirmed, wrapped and shared together.
I've always been the kind of person to be happy for my friends when I know their doing the right thing. I feel like I have known my buddy dutch for a really long time, almost like a lifetime friendship and its to the point where you start to be happy for him because you know he's happy. For Karen too, I have never seen a couple more in love in my life, and it's really cool to be a witness of that. These two are some of my bestest of friends and I would want them to be as happy as can be. I just want to congratulate them again, on sharing their love to world. Expressing it to people who might even feel like they can't love. I hope you guys live a beautiful life, forever with each other. Thanks for being my friends, I love y'all and congrats.

Karen, watch my boy.

And Dutch, be good man. 

With Time, Comes Decisions

Well, I'm starting another long yet adventurous year here at St. Greg's. It's already my junior year and I feel like I don't really remember much of anything. The first year I was here I was so grateful and so excited that I enjoyed everything about this place. My second year I had a lot of fun, learned a lot of new things about communicating to different people and having the will to make new friends when you left the old ones from back home behind. Now it's...well...Now, and it feels like everything is moving too fast to even decide what I'm really suppose to do. I guess when times flies, you know your having fun. I always believed growing up that through time comes, you know, a lot other things. So here for my junior year at a Catholic school with the intention of graduating with a Theology degree gets me pretty excited but even like wandering about it too. But like I said, With time comes decisions, I like that one better. I have to say, I'm excited for the new year. We have a bunch of freshman coming in, new names I've never even heard of in my life, it'll be fun. My brother, Nick will be tagging along with me now here. It's great to have a little piece of home with you, while your away. So It'll be good, I'm looking forward to it.

Alternative Spring Break

Spring Break these days is all party if your my age. Most of my friends head over to Padre Island, Florida beaches, Galveston Bay and have a good time. This year I decided to take a trip with the school to New Orleans for an alternative Spring Break trip. I thought it would interesting to return to the City where my calling and vocation was first initiated to me in 2006 when I visited to help rebuild the city after Katrina. So I was anxious and eager to start working and satisfy the desire that I've always had to serve people who truly need help. However during the trip, I didn't feel the same about my service, something seemed to be missing. We worked only two days out of the week and I was disappointed in myself, in the group, just the outcome of our work. In my reflection I started to see something greater. I started seeing that service isn't just about working and breaking a sweat. It isn't about standing on a 30 foot ladder tearing down an entire plastered ceiling. It's about just being there for the people, for the kids, and for the city.
Our main objective while we were there was just being present to the kids and showing them that there is other places that care, and show respect to them. Where we stayed was a rough rural area in New Orleans where the homes of these kids are mostly influenced by drugs and the business of drugs, and just violence. So we were there to show them that the home they live in, is not how the world is outside of home. I took me a long time to realize that just being present to the kids means more to them then anything in the world. They might be young but they do have feelings. It was sad when we left, all they kept asking us is if they would see us the next day and help them with their homework. When you told them no, we weren't gonna be back, they would just get this sadness in their heads and lower their shoulders. It was sad to see, but since they were kids they would soon forget and run around again, just like if they knew that they wanted to make the time with you last.

The American Dream

Today I met up with a friend of mine while I was walking to dinner, we crossed tracks and walked together towards the cafe. As always, I asked him how he was doing and how is day was going and, as always, he said "Yeah, I'm good" in his deep Japanese accent. Shinya, whose a communications major here at the school had the overwhelming task of memorizing the entire "I have a dream" speech given by Martin Luther King Jr. on Aug 28, 1963. As we were walking, I soon realized it was the longest walk to the cafeteria I had ever taken, but as we were walking I told him to show me what he's got. So I grabbed his paper, and waited for him to start the speech that he would soon say in front of the entire school. He muffled his voice, and began...

 ...

He began with strength in his voice, and his chin up high. He had the same stagger and monotone Dr. King had the day he gave his speech. Turned out Shinya had studied Dr. King's voice and speech so well, that he nailed every pause, every exaggeration and emotion that it had me amazed.

Shinya Continued in his slow Japanese accent...

       "And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”

....

"I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!"

...

As I was following along with the paper in my hand, I began to think of an amazing reflection and revelation in my head. It was like Shinya was ambassador for all people of this nation who have been abandoned, starved to death, mistaken, lost with no where to go, hungry, cold and homeless and in need of shelter. I listened, and just pictured all these people in my head crying out the exact same thing "I have a dream" the dream to be free, to be healthy, the dream of an American dream.

Just Another Start

Christmas and New Years went by pretty fast, It's great to start another year off in the state of living. The older I get it is like the more I become thankful each and everyday just for the things I have. When your little it is hard to be thankful for some of those things. Once you live in solitude and live in silence it's easy to notice what is hard to notice. Anyways, It's about that time of year to kick off another semester here at St. Greg's along with the new 2012 year. Every semester that digs a little deeper into my life, is starting to take a toll, It's going by so fast that I am starting to think that I don't have time for anything. I get pretty nervous, when I think about where I'm going after I leave this place. You know and it's just another reminder for myself to not look into the future. Just as easy as it is to look in the past, it's the same for the future. So in my own thoughts I am reminded to live in the present, and everyday it's getting harder and harder to live by that. In reality, it's hard to do what God wants you to do in general, I'm trying really hard to focus, focus on my school work, focus on my spirituality, health, and responsibilities. Sounds like a lot on my plate but I think I can do it. For me it's just another start.

CD Collection

Getting autographs is always fun, even signing your own name is fun, well for me at least. Here at Saint Greg's we had a visitor come down and play for us, Luke Spehar, he is an amazing guitarist with a gifted talent. His songs are all based on finding the will of God and discerning his vocation. He came to play his second album for us at school. I got his autograph. In Washington, DC we we're out eating at the Hard Rock Cafe in downtown and found out that the guy walking back and forth was Mark Ballas with Chelsie Hightower, two well known winners from the TV show Dancing with the stars, Me and my buddy bought his album which was set to release the very next day and got his autograph. Now, When we went to Nebraska, we got Corey Crowder's autograph along with the band and his newly released album. We didn't quite get Willie Nelson's autograph but we got Bobbie Nelson's. So we got a good collection going on here, hopefully we can keep going and having as much fun as we have been.

A Beautiful Revelation

These past few days the school has been covered with fresh snow. On Monday, we got word that Tuesday classes were canceled due to the weather. The forecast said that we were suppose to get about a foot of snow by ten that morning, and we did. The snow covered the ground and it was freezing cold, on Tuesday we got word that Wednesday classes were canceled and on Wednesday, Thursday classes, and on Thursday, Friday classes as well. So we had about a four day break out of the week.On Friday, I woke up, got dressed and headed out to the gym. Today was different, It wasn't cold, It wasn't like the days earlier in the break. When I stepped outside it was so radiant that I had to squint my eyes. The earth seemed still, no breeze, no noise. Snowflakes feel from the sky the size of quarters, It was beautiful. It reminded me that all life is new and bright, all we have to do is see, that snow was there I just didn't see it. As I trudged through the snow with my head up, I couldn't help realize how beautiful the scene was. I started to think back at past days and how I have been just so frustrated with my thoughts. My mind has just been cluttered with all sorts of things, by the words that I say, and the things that go through my head. I remember seeing the flakes fall, and thinking to myself, what am I doing. These things I say about other people isn't me, the thoughts that go through my head about others is not my mind, it's not mine. I prayed as I was walking that God help me to control my thoughts and my words of and to others and to see all life as new life, to not judge at first sight. Snow is a beautiful thing and you can see a lot of things through it, I think God wanted me to realize what I have been doing to him and myself. Of that, I am grateful that he helps me see what I fault in and what I need to improve on to live a life that is based on the imitation of Christ. Today happened to be that day he helped me see new life, through a beautiful revelation.

Buckley Team

This semester I took on the challenge and service project of being on the Buckley team here at St. Gregory's University. It's sort of strange on how I came to know the team because a few years ago while I was in High School, I went to the Regional Catholic Youth Conference (RCYC) in Amarillo. While I was there I met a few people and I remember hearing something about the Buckley Team, Long story short, I think I met the team there.
Now I am on buckley 4 years later, quite coincidental. We'll anyways this weekend was the Buckley Refocus Retreat where everybody learns about each other a little bit more than what they already do, we plan the semester and talk about some of the things that the team has done, that is handed down traditionally. Our job is to strengthen teens into becoming better disciples in Christ, that way they learn to take on the leadership role that we provide and use it back home. The semester should be pretty fun and exciting. Just like our personal lives that are always seeking conversion, in that same way the team I think is still on that conversion process. It'll be fun, It'll be fun. Personally, I am glad to be on the team as I explained to the team while I talked for about on hour about the things I have gone through in my life, in terms of service projects and the ups and downs. I told them that being on the team will help me, and also us live out the message that I, we, even we, have been giving from Christ, to serve.

Bed Races

Yesterday was one of those unforgettable days, one of those days where you do something just out of the ordinary. We'll here at Saint Greg's we hosted our 1st Annual Bed Races Competition. This is were certain organizations can join in and create your own bed that you think can resist speed bumps and sharp left turns. The Knights of Columbus Decided to get together and make one, The Mach 5. We welded our wheels on, used some cardboard and paint. Game day, we got 1st place prize, which was a trophy and a few benjamins for the organization. It was alot of fun

Fall: Change For Christ

Here at Saint Gregory's the season of fall is finally showing its true colors. Colors of deep contemplation and shallow shades of browns, yellows and greens are all starting to cover the trees as well as the floor. Every morning before class I make my way down the paved walkway and am surrounded by leaves all on the floor, and cool fresh air that I can't get enough of. From spring to fall colors I have come to the analogy that Christ is allowing us to change. Change colors that is. We can be bright and colorful in the springtime. When fall comes I think It's a reminder that no matter who we are, whether its people of faith or not. We are all experiencing Christ calling to change who we are, and whether we like it or not, we do change colors. The fact of the matter is what draws us deeply more in Christ is Christ himself. So when we think of fall and the colors of it. We are really accepting the change that comes within us. Fall break, it's time for a change, change for Christ.

In The Quiet

Inside the Abbey Chapel is beautiful stain glass windows that depict certain images from the bible. Theses pictures are the focus of most tour groups. It was built in 1942 and has imported brick from German is what I was told. It's a nice place to sit in the quiet and just pray and talk to Christ who did everything for us. There's silence, and the tile floors help cool the place, the altar is big and is under a crucifix that catches the eye. On the sides are where the monks sit during mass, or Liturgy of the Hours. This church has been the center of the campus of SGU for me. attending daily mass and saying the rosary everyday. My faith is growing by silence just how it is suppose to.

My Reflection on Discernment

I was suppose to write an essay reflecting on my discernment of religious life within the Roman Catholic Church, so I typed it up and emailed it to Saint Gregory's. hopefully they will call me soon with the news if I am accepted or not. Well I thought It would be a good idea to post the essay on my blog so here it is:
To discern means to reflect and find the interior of yourself as the person God has set for you. To think beyond the average person and see what you know God would see. An Important factor in helping that phase of discernment takes a life of prayer, humility, faithfulness not only God but to others. Live a life of solitide, quietness and peace. I believe that putting yourself in a prayer ful environment always helps the process of discerning God’s will go a lot easier and a lot more fuller than what you would experience in a loud and busy surrounding.
My Name is Vincent Carrasco and I have been discerning my vocation to the priesthood for quite some time now. Everything that I have mentioned above, I have in some way or another experienced it to the extent that it has had a major effect on my Catholic faith and formation growth. My first few years in High School, I never really liked to say or think about myself going to the priesthood. In fact I don’t think anybody did. I told my self that If I did, I would only do it for praise and recognition, that was my excuse for not thinking about it. During those few years in High School I attended a youth group at my local church of St. Anthony’s called LifeTeen. These two hour classes every Wednesday and Sunday nights for 4 years really shaped me into being a better person. The retreats and conferences we attended brought me to really understand my calling and the path that I was to follow so much easier. My Junior year was very congested going on all sorts of trips, visiting the third world country of Honduras to build homes for homeless, Steubenville of the Rockies, a Leadership Conference at the University of Notre Dame and our end-of-the-year retreats. By the time it was all over the notion of becoming a priest was in my head. Little did I know I wasn’t leaving. At this time I had already experienced being faithful to others by serving them. I had this desire to serve that was like hunger or a burning flame that only desires more and more, I wasn’t satisfied with what I was doing so I did the one thing that helped my be satisfied, that was to serve more. When I left for my first semester in college that calling only became more and more brighter as my inner self. People would come up to me telling me that It looked to them as if I was glowing with happiness and joy covering my face, then they would ask, “Do you happen to be discerning the priesthood?” Not being ashamed I would answer back with a head held high, “Yes I am” I was happy, I was at peace to know that God was with me It felt so comforting and so new, there was nothing I could do but smile even more. Even When I see priests, they bring light and peace, and happiness to me. I feel like this is something that I was truly called to be. In College I was blessed with the opportunity of living in a two-story home that was walking distance from the Catholic Church. I was living by myself so I believed it was a much more easier and laid back environment for a more prayerful life. Rather than being in a house with a family of five in it, would make my prayer life full of distractions that exist. To discern a person has to have to live a life of humility, if somebody comes in with a bad attitude or let’s say negative the discerner receives feedback off of that and it creates a not so well prayer life. Same thing with school, where you have all these distractions and downsides of live that the world today is a professional at bringing people down. One thing I always had in my mind was the fact that if you look at life, the plants the morning sunrise and evening sunset, even the formation of our very own bodies in the womb. They all grow in silence, not in music or noise, silence. In that same way, we are called to live just as we were created in silence and in humility; because its through silence that brings prayer and meditation. At the same time, I was committed to a life of solitude and service by being a Core Member for the Church’s EDGE Jr. high kids. I gave talks and teachings that were even surprising to me. At the peak of it all, I was forced to move out and withdraw from school my discernment went down the drain from there. A few months later I received a call from the vocations director wanting to meet up, at that point I knew that God truly does follow through with what he does. Strange enough, for some reason that desire to do what I wanted was still inside me. The thought of being a priest still crossed my mind even when I had forgotten about it for three months. When I see priests, they bring light and peace, and happiness to me. I feel like this is something that I was truly called to be.
Months later I am still waiting for that single door to open so I can finally make the step that I know is a stepping stone from Christ. The thought of being a priest to once again serve the people of Faith is something I am really anticipating. Deep inside I know that I was created to serve, we all were, however to know that I have been giving the want to and the “gusto” to carry forth with this is something that I would not want to go to waste. Finally I would like to say that the process of discernment has been a breeze so far only because what I have learned and what I have gained through faith formation classes and all the retreats I have been on. Just to understand that Christ died for me on the cross is something that motivates and drives me to do what we are called to do, just like waves are driven to the shore I am the exact same. Being Catholic I know that Christ created us to be Holy, Its our obligation and its our calling. Saint Gregory’s Scholarship Committee, please help provide what I need to carry my cross, just as my savior did for me.

Saint Gregory's University

This past week I had a unique experience by visiting a Catholic University that I think maybe the one perfect for me. Saint Gregory's University is just about an hour east of Oklahoma City, In Shawnee. When I first drove up the "family circle drive" I was so astounded by how much this reminded of being so at peace, because it's been so long since I have experienced that peace. I noticed right away that here my everyday worries and troubles were burned and brought down to a sense of peace, right here at St. Greg's.
When I arranged a tour, I set it on a Thursday. It turned out that I was the only tour for the entire day, so I got tons of help and information that was really needed. I was so grateful, the facility members were all doing their normal things, all accepted me with open arms even if I had, for some odd reason made the decision to go to the Baptist College which was right down the street. I felt as if God had put everything in his hand, and was just holding it out to me to reach out and grab.
Hopefully, everything works out for me. Saint Gregory, Pray for Me.