Unforgettable Unity

A couple of friends and I decided to drive up to Wisconsin for fall break. We drove up through St. Louis, visited a few seminary schools, stayed the night and had some fun hanging out with a couple seminarians. Even hanging out with a filmmaker, Kurt Krauss, whose a good character and very uplifting in spirit.  When we arrived on Wisconsin, I couldn't help notice the beauty of the state. It was so beautiful and so clean. Season changing leaves on the trees, and rolling hills that are either farmland, forest or grass fields. When we met the family it was so comforting, I felt like I was at home. This family was the happiest family I have ever seen in a long time. No worries, no stress, just the family and this sense of unity. I remember watching everybody having a good time with each other and all of a sudden I started to think of my family and every single person. How sometimes we have those days when we argue and don't get along. Naturally that is how every family is, sometimes you just don't get along. It made me be so grateful for the family that I have today and cherish them as long as I can.

You know all weekend long, we have been talking about life and how its not about where you are at, but the people you are with. I think God wants us to understand that as his followers, yeah its great to get out and experience what life is like through the different areas and culture but as long as we cherish the people that are there living that culture It's almost like your there with them and apart of what they love. It's with those great people that you gain the unity that Christ wants us to. This weekend in Wisconsin has been great and I won't forget it here.

A Love Divine

The word "Love" is over used and miss interpreted so many times now days. So much that when it comes down to it, we don't even notice the true or exact love that comes from within or from somebody else. For the first time in my life I witnessed a true and divine love that was brought up from God through Christ himself. Some friends of mine having been dating for quite a while now and today was the day he would ask her. We decorated the Mary chapel with roses and red flower pedals. As she walked in, he sang her a song that he wrote.When he finished he dropped to one knee, looked at her straight in the eye and said to her, "Karen, I love you so much, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. So would you marry me?" For the first time I saw love, true love, self-giving love that would bow down and ask for love in return. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It was a sacred moment, and I couldn't help but see Christ down on his knees in the same position, asking us the exact same question. Will you love me, will you live in me. The question and the response together make a one, true love divine. It was great to be apart of, Congratulations to my good friends Joshua & Karen Dutchover Hynes.

Everything and Nothing

From Matt Maher's new album, this song has got my attention and I can't stop listening to it. It's one of those songs that helps you realize all that you have done, it has you close you eyes to listen to the lyrics even more closely. When I heard it for the first time I didn't know exactly what the song was talking about, and I thought the title was weird. I had no idea what Matt was talking about. Even now I still don't, because it is not my song. For some reason it sticks out to me.
For the past few weeks, I have been down, lost thinking about my self-esteem and what other people think of me. It almost feels like I am nothing and worthless to everyone, including myself. When I go to mass in the evenings, for those few minutes after receiving communion I instantly feel like I am everything in the world, I feel like I am held in the palm of God's hand. In a sense, I am Everything and Nothing in his Love. When I got to hearing the song more and more, I started thinking this song describes exactly how I feel. I'm lost and found, I'm saved and drowned. I'm everything and nothing all in one, I'm so far gone, but I'm already home, cause everything but your love. I thank God everyday for the love that he's given me, without his love we would be nothing. It's through his love that we are Everything, and through his grace we are nothing. The nothing is what makes us stronger.

My Brother's Keeper

For the past few days, one of the monks here at the Monastery has been in the Hospital battling his last few days here on the earth. On September 1st, Brother Joseph Lawrence Niichel, O.S.B., entered eternal life. The brothers of his life, the monks, prayed with him before his death, prayed for the intercession of all saints, he was given his last rights and prayer for a great and peaceful death. As Br. Joseph laid there in bed, the Abbot of the Monastery came over, leaned over to his ear and said, "Brother Joseph, as your Prefect, Brother and Abbot I give you permission to let your spirit go, and pray for us you leave behind." Less than five minutes later, He rested.

Today, I was asked to be pallbearer for the 71 year old fellow. I was honored, I have never done it before with any of my family members who have deceased. To do it for the first time for Br. Joseph is a privilege and honor. As we carried the casket down the isle to the cemetery, even when we lowered the casket I remember thinking about what this man did in his life, where he was at, what his last thought was, or his last word. It was all visual for me, I remember just picturing him in mass when I saw him in his motor chair.
When we were lowering the casket into the ground, I was proud enough to smile for him being Brother and me helping to be his keeper.

Our Lady of Guadalupe

Today, I came to realize that there is more to the Virgin Mary than what I thought there was. She wasn't just the Mother that we pray to for peace. She isn't only the Queen of all Saints, or our Lady of Grace. While these are all great things, the Virgin Mary is a symbol for all. As I found out today, these symbols are all hidden inside the portrait that was revealed to Juan Diego On December 9, 1531. Juan Diego, a young peasant Aztec native, saw a vision of the Blessed Mary, telling him to build a church at the top of the hill. Juan Diego shared his story to the Bishop. But, the bishop wanted proof. Mary appeared the Juan Diego a second time in the same spot and explained to Diego to gather flowers. It was in the middle of winter and soon, Juan Diego gathers beautiful red roses, collects them in his tilma, in those days a tilma was used as a carry-all. So on December 12, Juan Diego takes them back to the bishop and as he lays the flowers down in front of the bishop the Image of Virgin Mary is miraculously imprinted on the maguey agave fabric.

Today, I had the privilege to be shown the hidden images that are inside this beautiful picture, some which i will show with you. I will try an explain from the top to the bottom with what I was told:)

Water/Acid Damage: at the very top middle there is line of water damage on the original copy, because of a great flood that happened in the chapel that it was kept in. The Rays of the sun are seen to be fading because of the water. Painters try and clean it and revive it with acid but damage it only more on the right side, they become frightened and stop.
Right Eye: On Mary's right eye a hidden image of Juan Diego is seen wearing a Sombrero looking up
Neck: Right underneath the neck of Mary, the Image of the Holy Eucharist is seen by few, with the face of Jesus inside of it!
Hands: In Aztec times, the mothers started to have many miscarriages during pregnancy because of the labor that home mothers required. So Aztecs would tie the hands of pregnant woman to keep their work limited and close to the womb. Gold is used to tie her hands, as a sign of Divinity. Mary although prays for US while she is tied.
Belt: the black knot is actually a European symbol of pregnancy. Some say that the can see Saint Martin de Porras as the belt, who was born on December 9th, and the patron saint for all mixed races.
Aztec Symbols: The symbols that cover the dress are all signs of life, of heaven and God. Under the black belt, is a flower, that symbolizes God. The black belt, being a sign of pregnancy. Together, Mary is pregnant with God, or Jesus.
Dress (Leftside): Here you will see a light ray that runs down the side of the Dress, with a sharp end near the bottom. This is the exact tool that is used during an Abortion.
Bottom: Near the bottom, Mary is crushing the angel Lucifer who has horns on his head. If you look closely you can see the two large horns from each side of Mary, two eyes on each side of the head of Lucifer, which is the demons nose and the sleeves of his shirt are the smile.

The Virgin Mary is the Mother of Christ himself and offers endless grace to us, her children. She is the Mother of all nations, her love for the world is unconditional and we should offer her our love and prayers. Her mysteries will last forever, Love you Mother

Never-ending Joy

The past four days I have been helping out with the Vacation bible School with my parish. I have been the music coordinator for about 4 years now and I have enjoyed it ever since I started. Monday, was the start of the 2011 Bible School and It's been a blast so far. Today unfortunately, was the last day for this years SonSurf Beach Bash, but, the beginning of every bit of never-ending joy. This year, just like the other years, every child seems to light up with Joy that I have never seen before. Happiness and pure Joy fill the room and cover over every person in the room. It's almost like water that qinces your thirst. It satisfies, and gives you energy. While I'm going through the motions of every song, I can see smiles all around, laughter, I can almost touch that happiness it's amazing. I try and give my energy while doing that music motions so that they feed off of it and praise God while doing it. It feels good to be almost like a mediatrix between the children and Christ. As Leaders, as adults, that is what we are called to be towards the children and younger ones, we are mediators working in between the two. Doing this in any way we can, will bring Never-ending joy to our lives, because true joy, lies within the children.

Back on my Knees

Today, for the first time in a really long time I knelt down to pray. Over the past few months it seemed like I forgot how soothing it was to the soul. I never prayed before I went to sleep, I didn't pray on my knees when I woke up. I would always skip right over it, like it was a CD or something. The CD would play but when it came to a song that I didn't like, all it took was one single act to skip right over it and go right on to the next. But, that's what I did, never cared too much about praying on my knees.
My father called the family down from upstairs, as we each gathered in the hallway, we walked closer to the distant voice we heard coming from the back room. He called us into the master bedroom, got down on his knees and said "we need to pray". As I hesitated, for a second, a cover of amazement sheltered over my body and I dropped to my knees. As I closed my eyes to the prayer, I felt relieved, so relaxed, It felt like I was being held, everything was comfortable again. I realized that I had been gone from prayer for so long, so long that I had forgotten about that peace it brings not only to pray, but praying on my knees. I knelt there, with my body hunched over on the bed. My elbows propped me up while my hands were covering my face. I stayed there, humbled, attracted, and in pity. I mumbled, I'm sorry over and over again. I was going lost, and Christ voice attracts. God, I need you, I'm nothing without you, bring me back to you, If I don't make it through, I need you. I love you

Ranchos de Taos

I went to Taos, New Mexico this weekend. The same trip that had a profound impact on my life 4 years ago. We went to remud the Mission of Saint Francis of Assisi. There, I would witness the Holy Spirit just putting all sorts off things together for me. How I met different people, the scriptures that I received, it was amazing how everything seemed to tie all together. I went to sleep everyday getting closet and closer to the thought of not being afraid. Afraid of being who God really wants me to be. Afraid of just losing everything that God has given me by throwing it away by one simple wrong decision. I got off the bus onto the parking lot of my home parish knowing that Christ will always be with us, he will never leave us. That we should never be afraid because Christ is our Guide. My rock was "Guidance"

Working on the Heart

It's always a good feeling when you finish working on a great big project or something that you really take pride in. You have been working on this project for a really long time, giving it some great detail to the point when every last drop of sweat has fallen from you. Everyday you work on this masterpiece and the only thing that keeps you from not giving up on it is the thought of seeing how it looks when your finished. The feeling of completion and that feeling of rising above every voice inside your head to give up and quit is what draws you to keep going, and ultimately finish.

This weekend I went with some friends of mine to work on a natural spring just outside Konawa, Oklahoma. It's a natural spring in the shape of the Sacred Heart. When we got there I bent over and starting praying as I was working. After a few minutes of prayer and movement, I suddenly got a desire to get dirty, and put all I had into this one thing, this one heart, a Sacred Heart. I took my shoes, socks, shirt and shorts off (not to worry, I had shorts on underneath) I continued and instantly became drawn to keep moving, and I didn't want to stop. I began to sweat as I tried desperately to get the crystal clear water to flow better. The water-flow was so dirty and as I used my hands to pull the weeds, and remove the dirt. The water would soon flow and clear out all of the dirt and create a beautiful rich, clear flow. It was amazing how I could actually see the dirt being filtered out through the flow of the water, it was like the old was being replaced with new. Then it became clear to me, there was complete silence, and I seemed to be at peace and not think of anything but focus on the Heart of Christ. I began to think about how Christ works on my heart, and that it is the exact same way as me working on it this great potential natural spring. I did not want to stop moving. My friends would call upon me and I was so zoned in on the love of Christ through the Sacred Heart that I didn't hear them. It was an amazing experience that became obvious to me.

Jesus works on our heart everyday of our lives trying to shape it and help make everything flow better. He makes builds it and helps it take on anything that our heart endures. I think that this was the main reminder of me working on this spring. Jesus, cleanses our heart, takes out everything that is holding up the water from running, like the leaves, the mud, rocks, all of these things are the things that keep us from gaining a healthy spiritual heart that Christ wants from us, He wants our hearts and he wants our love for him to grow. Christ is doing everything he can to help your heart flow, he is removing your sins, and cleansing your soul, building it up and preparing it so that we can open it right back up, and offer it back to the one who made it work. As we speak, he is replacing old with new, removing all that needs to be removed. As we speak, he is working on your heart.

Life is Spontaneous...

Yesterday, I got a text message from my good friend asking if I wanted to go to a Thunder game in Oklahoma City. Of Course, I could not say no, so an hour later we were on the road. We ate at "Old Chicago" had some great pizza, made a sign to hold up at the game walked a good ten minutes to get to the stadium. By the time we knew it, the game started and we were having some good fun. At the end of the game, Monte Ellis (8) tied up the game as people were leaving, thinking the game was over. It went into overtime, and there were empty seats. So my buddy and me went down the stairs and sat pretty close to courtside for the extra quarter. We had a great time. Life is Spontaneous wouldn't you say.