A Joyous Jewel

In a small town like mine, sometimes it can seem like it's so big, just cause you never see anybody. After high school, it's like all my friends from high school are like a valuable asset, or even like a precious jewel. Just like precious jewels and gems are hard to find, so too, are friends. It is rare that I get to see anybody from high school around anymore cause I'm pretty distant, and like I said, this small town ain't so small. But when I do, it's a great experience and in a way, soothing to realize that they are doing alright. I went to Wal Mart today, and found myself talking to a couple of my cousins who have grown so big, and look so different from when I last seen them. I guess sometimes we forget that a person grows up through a great thing we call time. I said hello to a couple of my classmates from high school, talked for a while, left and said hello to another. By the time I left, I grew a great happiness and peace, just by talking to a couple of people who I haven't seen in years. It was a great realization that came to me, I was at peace knowing that my old friends were doing fine, just to see them there was great. I think the Joy around that reflection comes from Christ, in realizing that sometimes people need a person there. Someone with higher spirits to get them through the drag of the day. A talk, a laugh, a wave or even a joke. I think as precious as a jewel is, the real preciousness is not the worth, or the characteristics but rather where and how they came to be. For us it's our background, being made by God, the one who gives us life. It's the relationship, how truly precious a relationship can bring; great joy. God gives us the chance everyday to catch how great of a blessing it is to be living, to have friends and to experience them once again. I thank God for my life, for the great adventure in seeing old faces with a new spirit.

A Savior is Born.

Today as we remember a holiday that's been around for more than two thousand years, we can also remember that today is a day of Joy and happiness, of great trial that is overcome by adversity and peace. Mary and Joseph are called by God to bear a son and name him Jesus, while this is a great calling, Mary and Joseph are venerated because of their great obedience to God. God would enter into the world, as a man, today a Savior is born, the redeemer of the world would come and be immersed in our humanity to die for our sins and promote our invitation to eternal salvation.
Christmas is a sign of peace and joy that comes after any trial, we can be secured in our faith. For Mary and Joseph, the thought of having a baby under the Jewish law was frightening. Mary could be charged with adultery and stoned to death. While God blessed Mary with a humble heart, she became strong in her fears in order to carry Christ the King. The great triumpant over this common fear, is the birth of Jesus.
So for us, I think we can remember that even in our trials and stress we can learn to see Christ, the Savior who redeems us from sin and even from trial. He saves. While there is evil and trial in this world, there is also good that arises from that evil and trial. Thomas Aquinas says that God allows evil to occur in order to bring out a greater good.
For us during Christmas, we die from all of our fears and trials, and rise with Christ in his birth in a greater peace.

Dutchover Wedding

It all seemed to happen so fast. I can still remember the first day I meet the two love birds. Dutch and Karen were starting their junior and senior years there at Saint Gregory's. Dutch was starting his Senior year and Karen her junior year. It was really fun to get to know these two for the little time that we had together there at school. I learned a lot of things from the both of them, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who learned to find another meaning of love just through the love that they shared for each other. This love that I wrote about before, was finally sealed, confirmed, wrapped and shared together.
I've always been the kind of person to be happy for my friends when I know their doing the right thing. I feel like I have known my buddy dutch for a really long time, almost like a lifetime friendship and its to the point where you start to be happy for him because you know he's happy. For Karen too, I have never seen a couple more in love in my life, and it's really cool to be a witness of that. These two are some of my bestest of friends and I would want them to be as happy as can be. I just want to congratulate them again, on sharing their love to world. Expressing it to people who might even feel like they can't love. I hope you guys live a beautiful life, forever with each other. Thanks for being my friends, I love y'all and congrats.

Karen, watch my boy.

And Dutch, be good man. 

Jesus Comes Down

Wednesday here at the university marks the midway point of the week, so the monastery offers Student Mass for anyone in need of some typical "Jesus time" or just in need of time to get away from the normal student life hustle and bustle. Today it was different, it was a beautiful day from start to finish, fresh and murky in the morning, then warm and humid in the afternoon. Towards the evening, the rain clouds start to roll in, an by the time we knew it, it was raining an hour before our normal student mass. Then 20 minutes before it was thundering, and lightning literally every 20 seconds. So I get dressed and ran down to the Abbey Church. As we were having mass, I remember thinking of God and how he is so powerful and almighty. During the consecration, as the priest raised the host, a thunder in the distant struck, and then it moved to be this soft, gentle sound all the way until the host was lowered. As the priest did the same for the cup, it was again, this soft and gentle thunder that struck, the lights dimmed in the church and then lightning rumbled until the cup was lowered. As the priest bowed behind the alter, tears came from my eyes and I knew, that Christ who is so big, so strong, almighty, and powerful still yet makes himself lower than our own humanity to be consumed to us, whom he loves. It's a very Christological view, that God accepts and respects our humanity enough that he would come down for us, and take on this humanity. I was in mass, thinking of all of this. I was Eucharistic Minister for mass and I remember it being so silent, and so quiet that I heard no thunder or lightning for the entire communion. It was like Christ had made himself not like us, but lower than us to be consumed by us. It was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced in my life. It helped me realized that no matter how big and strong God is, he still has the power to make himself like us no matter what. He has done it before, he can do it again. I think we have this notion in our heads to be fearful of him. When we fear God it ain't a bad thing, when we hear in the bible for us to 'Fear the Lord' that means for us to be afraid of being separated from God. In that manifestation God comes down to us, to be united with us, and forever with us.

Your Love, Your Family

When you see somebody for so long, so many hours out of the day, you start to get use to it. It's like you start to expect that person to show up everyday wherever you are. Part of human nature is habit, so when the time comes to go and do your own thing, to try something new and break that original habit guess what? It's quite an adjustment you can imagine. I guess for a colleague it can be tough for some of us, we leave the people that we have basically grown up with our whole lives to try and be somebody and do something with the lives that they [Our Parents] have given us.
Two days ago, September 18 was my dad's birthday. I called him up and we talked, I told him happy birthday and that I loved him. He started asking me how I was doing, if I needed anything, to be responsible and that sort of thing. What stood out was his emphasis on love and prayer, he told me to pray for all those that I hurt or all those that hurt me and likewise love them. As we were talking, I tried to visualize him talking to me like if he was there in front of me, looking at me straight in the eyes like he always had done. Being away from home, It is a lot easier to listen and take to heart the words that he speaks. It's almost like you wish you had a tape of everything he tried telling you, so you can just pop it right in, push play, and just listen, listen for hours and soak it all in.. I always think of my family when I'm away from home, sometimes it can be a scary thought because anything can happen while your away, good things, bad things, horrible things and even the most amazing things. I hate to think of any of those bad things happen to any of us or of our family members but when I do, for some reason it is proof to me of what I am really called to do. Those thoughts fuel my passion for my vocation, it makes me strive to be above the average person. It's weird not seeing people around telling you what you should do or what you can't do. They have been with us all our lives and now it is different for us. The prize in this, is that we are called by God through all that we miss, to love them even more and respect them even more than what we normally have. It is an invitation if you think about it, to love our elders, our parents, our friends since it was them that really, truly loved us first.

With Time, Comes Decisions

Well, I'm starting another long yet adventurous year here at St. Greg's. It's already my junior year and I feel like I don't really remember much of anything. The first year I was here I was so grateful and so excited that I enjoyed everything about this place. My second year I had a lot of fun, learned a lot of new things about communicating to different people and having the will to make new friends when you left the old ones from back home behind. Now it's...well...Now, and it feels like everything is moving too fast to even decide what I'm really suppose to do. I guess when times flies, you know your having fun. I always believed growing up that through time comes, you know, a lot other things. So here for my junior year at a Catholic school with the intention of graduating with a Theology degree gets me pretty excited but even like wandering about it too. But like I said, With time comes decisions, I like that one better. I have to say, I'm excited for the new year. We have a bunch of freshman coming in, new names I've never even heard of in my life, it'll be fun. My brother, Nick will be tagging along with me now here. It's great to have a little piece of home with you, while your away. So It'll be good, I'm looking forward to it.

Beautiful Colorado

It was great to get away from everything that consumes you for once. My family and went to Colorado for our vacation to stay with some family. It was great, We had a lot of fun, laughs and great food. I'm just going to go ahead and make Colorado my official favorite state. Even though I haven't see the others, so far this ones my favorite. Just for a couple reasons, it's always raining, it's beautiful, and God surrounds. Through the mountains, the blue skies, the landscaping, it's amazing to witness and be inside or in the midst of all of it. One of the days, we decided to take a hiking trip up a mountain. It took a couple of hours to get to the top, look around and come back down. But it was exhausting, and pretty tiring for us, especially the little ones. I tried to maintain myself and not lost my breathe or sit down. I wanted to get to the top of the mountain so I can see everything that is around the one that I was on. We took breaks, took pictures, and stood up on rock faces. Even though we were tired, we kept moving, and everytime we had the chance, we would climb up the nearest rock face look out and see a world that is vast, and full of unknown colors. It's beautiful to see and give thanks to God for creating the world he did for us. It's amazing and full of wonders that God wants to reveal to us every single day.

Like the Water Flows

For a long time, I felt like I was being held back. I was weighed down and tied up, tied up by what? It was my guilt, my sin, and my shame. I had gone to confession before but I felt like it wasn't enough. During my stay in Pecos, I remember sitting there in prayer for a really long time, I prayed long and hard that I be forgiven from all my faults, It was hard because I had to look deep inside of myself, and finally look at what it was that was keeping me from being a fully, functioning Christian. When I think about it now, It's like I really doubted the Mercy that God offers me, I never knew what it meant to receive the sacrament of reconciliation. All I did was stare into the eyes of a man who was given the vocation to resolve me from my Sins with the help of God, and then I would leave and pick it up, right where I left off. That kills me, that kills us. By the state of Original sin that was given to us, it's natural for us to sin, it's in our nature and always will be. However we shouldn't take the Mercy of God for granted and that's what was hard even for me to comprehend.
I was standing in the river there at the Monastery and I remember being so cold and so covered that It was so hard to walk and move. The wind blew up against my back and sometimes I would lose my footing beneath the current and plunge into waist high waters. I began to think of all the sin that I had brought with me and how likewise, it was the same. So heavy, so cold and keeping me unable to move, sometimes scared to keep moving forward because with all that weight you don't ever know if you'll go deeper with it all and drown or sometimes become carried away by the water that is pushing you.

I thought..

Even like the likewise, we push Christ away by our actions, we knock him down and repeatedly keep him from getting to where he would like to be with us. It's almost like our sinful nature allows us to be like this, like the water, where at one point, we become so strong and in favor of doing whatever we want to do. At the same time, I thought of how just like that raging water, and raging sin, so too, is the Mercy of Christ with us. So strong, so full that it's like a giant river that is cabable of covering anything, no matter how big or bad of a past we have. That same water, that brings us down and pushes us around, is the same water that lifts us up and holds us high.

When I returned home, that analogy has stuck with me ever since, and I wrote a song about it.. Remember, no matter where you've been or where you have gone, our God is a kind, loving and merciful God. Like the water flows, so does his Mercy. Here's the video link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNxB5XJ9vQM&feature=youtu.be

Pecos, New Mexico 2012: Mercy Undeserving

This past weekend I went on a mission trip to Pecos, New Mexico to visit the Benedictine Monks. It was a 4 day retreat for the Lifeteen and it went pretty well. We learned a lot about the silence and how it is where our souls are at their best ability in finding Christ. We learned how in Silence, really the only thing keeping ourselves from Christ, is ultimately ourselves. We worked there at the Monastery voluntering to clean up some of their fields, buildings and gardens. It was a great time off, out of the world, and into our hearts to slow us down for self examination. For me it was rejuvenating, to serve once again, what I, what we are called to do.
Before the trip, I knew I had to make it to confession just so that I would be in the right state of mind when I went. So I went, and nothing really changed for me. Deep down inside I wanted to feel like I was forgiven, but honestly, I felt like I was just the same as when I walked in the confessional. I doubted God's mercy, and his forgiveness. Throughout the trip I tried to work when it was time to work, eat when it was time to eat, and pray when it was time to pray. In reality, it is a very hard thing to do, just to keep a balance of life is hard and I fail at it every single day. The first night we had confessions again, and I felt the need to go and just re-examine myself one more time before I went. So I did, and for the second time, I doubted again the mercy that God grants us, I doubted his presence and his forgiveness. But just like the last time, I was putting it inside of my head that I was forgiven and still somehow didn't feel like it. The next night we had the exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, I prayed, everybody prayed, and I remember feeling so immersed, so focused on the Eucharist that no matter how hard I tried, I could not look away, I was so attracted and so relieved that at that instant, I felt the inner presence and mercy that God had given me. It was like a strike of a match, that was all there, It just needed that initiative to spark the flame. When the retreat was over, we got our rocks and through Divine Providence, I got the word 'Mercy' written on mine.. I think my devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary helped me understand and see that, without her intercession I don't think I would have been revealed the true Mercy that God offers for us. It helped me realize that no matter how useless you feel, no matter how unworthy you feel, God still finds a way to forgive us, no matter how much we done against him, no matter how many times we have turned our backs on him he still finds a way to call us back and pour that undeserving mercy into our hearts.

Brother Lead Me

My brother Nicholas, finally graduated from High School. That's right, class of 2012. I remember like it was yesterday when I was in the same spot, walked the same stage while he was just beginning the same path that I had took. All our lives, we spent our time following each other around waiting for the other to take initiative and take the lead. I can't say it was me but, my brother too. I believe that when you follow someone, your actually leading another and that's what it was about. Leading the people you love, no matter where they end up when it's all done with.  I think of the story of Moses and the Israelites, how he led those people out of Egypt, how he was so set on doing what he had to do that he did whatever it took to get the job done. For his family, his sisters and his brothers. I think we're all called to lead in some way or another. Some ways might be different than others, but we all have brothers, we all have sisters, and a family who needs our help. Congratulations to my little brother, who even though is younger than me is still in some way older than me. Congrats.